Roughly 20 minutes ago, this speech began to be broadcasted on repeat from Inner Light's central temple complex:
"Most beloved brethren: Urged by necessity, I, The Pontifex of Holy Illumination, by the permission of The Gods Illustrious chief bishop and prelate over the whole Universe, have come into these parts as an ambassador with a divine admonition to you, the servants of The Light. I hoped to find you as faithful and as zealous in the service of The Gods as I had supposed you to be. But if there is in you any deformity or crookedness contrary to The Law, with divine help I will do my best to remove it. For The Gods have put you as stewards over his family to minister to it. Happy indeed will you be if he finds you faithful in your stewardship. You are called shepherds; see that you do not act as hirelings. But be true shepherds, with your crooks always in your hands. Do not go to sleep, but guard on all sides the flock committed to you. For if through your carelessness or negligence a wolf carries away one of your sheep, you will surely lose the reward laid up for you with The Divine. And after you have been bitterly scourged with remorse for your faults-, you will be fiercely overwhelmed in darkness, the abode of death.
Although, O sons of The Gods you have promised more firmly than ever to keep the peace among yourselves and to preserve the rights of the church, there remains still an important work for you to do. Freshly quickened by the divine correction, you must apply the strength of your righteousness to another matter which concerns you as well as The Gods Illustrious. For your brethren who live in the this galaxy are in urgent need of your help, and you must hasten to give them the aid which has often been promised them. For, as the most of you have heard, Odium and Darknesss have attacked them and have conquered the territory of The Krusty Krab, surrounding their home base along with many others. They have occupied more and more of the lands of the faithful, and have overcome them in many battles. They have killed and captured many, and have destroyed the churches and devastated these worlds and systems declared holy. If you permit them to continue thus for awhile with impurity, the faithful of The Gods Illustrious will be much more widely attacked by them. On this account I, or rather Divinity, beseech you as The God’s heralds to publish this everywhere and to persuade all people of whatever rank, militia and regular, poor and rich, to carry aid promptly to those faithful and to destroy that vile race from the lands of our friends. I say this to those who are present, it meant also for those who are absent. Moreover, The Gods command it.
All who die by the way, whether by star or by pirates, or in battle against the pagans, shall have immediate remission of sins. This I grant them through the power of The Gods Illustrious with which I am invested. O what a disgrace if such a despised and base race, which worships demons, should conquer a people which has the faith of omnipotent Light and is made glorious with the names of The Gods. With what reproaches will The Gods overwhelm us if you do not aid those who, with us, profess the ways of The Holy Light? Let those who have been accustomed unjustly to wage private warfare against the faithful now go against the infidels and end with victory this war which should have been begun long ago. Let those who for a long time, have been robbers, now become knights. Let those who have been fighting against their brothers and relatives now fight in a proper way against the barbarians. Let those who have been serving as mercenaries for small pay now obtain the eternal reward. Let those who have been wearing themselves out in both body and soul now work for a double honor. Behold! on this side will be the sorrowful and poor, on that, the rich; on this side, the enemies of The Gods, on that, their friends. Let those who go not put off the journey, but mine their worlds and collect resources for their warships; and as soon as the building is over and the time comes, let them eagerly set out on the way with The Gods as their guide."