And what does every FPS have in common? The instant the fight is over, everything goes right back to the way it was. You lose nothing by being headshot right out of the gate. And all of the players are on a level playing field, if one person wins more its because they have the skill to do so, not because they started the fight with a bigger gun and heavier armor.
Those are fair fights. That is good PvP.
Not all FPS have that in common, guess why games like DayZ are so popular.
Consequences change the way PvP plays drastically. If everything resets and you just respawn with all the stuff you had before, then there is not point in being carefull, you cant develop grinding tactics as your enemy just respawns too, there is so much that gets lost due to not having to face any consequences, as you can just do whatever the fuck you want without having to worry about anything.
Games like StarMade where losing a fight means losing months of work? Thats not fun to me, and I'm sure as hell not going to want to spend a month building the most perfect base the game has ever seen just to log off for the night, come back the next day to see that somebody parked a capitol ship over it and blew it into pieces while sending me mails of "Lulz, u mad bro?"
Take a look at EVE Online, ive seen years of work being obliberated in fleet battles, i myself blew up countles ships, hostiles ones, neutral ones, my own, and i had fun. That the ships are actually gone, is a consequence that changed the whole experience, heart pounding when we got attacked on a 0sec freight transport with billions of ISK in cargo, when we grinded down our enemy by killing off small groups to reduce their total fleet size before they could face us, because otherwise we would have lost against their sheer quantity.
So guess what, apparently there are a lot of people who do enjoy that, otherwise there wouldnt be thousands or people doing that to each other daily in EVE.
There is a line between PvP and griefing. PvP is between two people that want to fight each other. Griefing is when only one side agrees to it. That you apparently cannot or will not see that line speaks volumes to me.
And you have a narrowed view apparently. Ive seen many cases in various games, that showed me that this is not as simple as you think it is.
If something is griefing or just a type of encounter PvP, largely depends on the game it takes place in and the events that lead to it.
Like say, if i see someone in EVE Online flying in low sec and i can take him down? If i do, just blow him up, salvage his ship, is that griefing for you? For you, propably, for me its was encounter PvP, allowing me to gain some loot and have some fun, and here is the thing, it was part of the dangers of going into lowsec in EVE Online, its one of the PvP types that the sandbox gameplay of that game provides. Would you still call that griefing as that person might not have wanted to fight but just cross lowsec?
If i play Minecraft, see somebody who builds a house, and i just go there, put lava on his bed and then kill him so he respawns in lava while his house burns down, thats 100% griefing.
So in my opinion, that line is not as easy as "PvP is between two people that want to fight each other. Griefing is when only one side agrees to it"...