We here at Blade Falcon offer the ebonics translation courtesty of Gizoogle.net:
"It has long been foretold dat Lazarus Imperium would once again n' again n' again return ta tha ashes like a phoenix reachin eternal obsolescence. Da prophecy has never before been mo' true. Our thugged-out asses have peeped tha rise n' fall of dis mediocre & rather inactizzle faction up in legit steez accordin ta its name up in biblical text. But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat not a damn thang lives forever n' we will continue ta peep dis cycle up in continuance.
I be here ta offer a exit game ta dem vagabondz seekin asylum from tha clutchez of failin factions whoz ass continue on a cold-ass lil collision course fo' adversitizzle n' failure. We can offer both protection n' a home ta dem playas whoz ass peep theyselves worthy of a mo' independent faction. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Do not continue ta suffer up in tha resentment n' wack despair of dis failin faction, otherwise it will lead ta tha dark path of moral corruption.
We recognize dat obtainin a posizzle up in a worthy faction can be like challenging, especially wit so lil ta chizzle from dat have even tha slightest of objective-based guidance. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So we is willin ta fast-track yo' recruitment n' conduct a one time acceptizzle of all dem playas whoz ass reply. Well shiiiit, it is ghon be a thugged-out decision dat aint gonna disappoint you like yo' formers. With talez of grandeur n' excitement we will put tha game back tha fuck into tha game dat Lazarus stole from you, biatch.
Don't continue ta let Lazarus suck you dry of yo' game force, ta feed its own reincarnation. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Jacked yo ass from tha clutchez of insanitizzle n' move forward wit due diligence. Yo crazy-ass intelligence is mo' useful up in a gangbangin' faction dat has goals, rather than dem playas whoz ass seek not a damn thang but stories ta enforce they wishful will."