Starmade memes

    Calhoun

    Part-time God
    Joined
    May 26, 2015
    Messages
    872
    Reaction score
    237
    • Purchased!
    • Legacy Citizen 3
    • Thinking Positive
    "Why do we need cactus, we're supposed to be an intergalactic superpower"

    "Yes, a CACTUS FUELED intergalactic superpower!"
    ah the good old days

    also old stations

    GLASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
     

    Crashmaster

    I got N64 problems but a bitch ain't one
    Joined
    Oct 18, 2013
    Messages
    452
    Reaction score
    360
    Traditionally hand-crafted in MS paint.


    also a lazy but properly cropped one

     
    Last edited:
    G

    GDPR 302420

    Guest
    "Working as intended"

    [doublepost=1515050051,1515049993][/doublepost]For some strange reason, using the spawn shopkeep function of advanced shops spawns a lot of em at once.

    Oh and they like to take a ride on your core.

    Schine bls fix ur game
     

    Matt_Bradock

    The Shrink
    Joined
    Aug 4, 2013
    Messages
    798
    Reaction score
    464
    • Purchased!
    • Thinking Positive
    • Legacy Citizen 5
    "Working as intended"

    [doublepost=1515050051,1515049993][/doublepost]For some strange reason, using the spawn shopkeep function of advanced shops spawns a lot of em at once.

    Oh and they like to take a ride on your core.

    Schine bls fix ur game
    And remember, NPCs are immovable objects, they can stop a 1:1 Resurgence Star Destroyer in its tracks.
     
    Joined
    Jan 31, 2015
    Messages
    1,700
    Reaction score
    1,203
    • Thinking Positive
    • Likeable
    "Working as intended"

    [doublepost=1515050051,1515049993][/doublepost]For some strange reason, using the spawn shopkeep function of advanced shops spawns a lot of em at once.

    Oh and they like to take a ride on your core.

    Schine bls fix ur game
    I have literally been in a shootout to death with a shopkeep mob. Sooo sad...

    Starting new on a server, I allied with a neighbor early. Next day we've made some trades, both have bases up. Filling BPs for proper ships... I am busy crafting... he messages me. Tells me he is going to a nearby super shop, asks if I need anything. No, thanks.

    10 minutes later, "hey, I'm under attack at the shop." "Right. On my way in a space jalopy miner with cannons... we're both dead."

    I jump to the shop. No ships around. I park and go into the shop where he is, suddenly I'm taking damage. No ships. I switch my navcomp to see everything and there are 10 shopkeeps attacking us.

    Now I look and my ally has like 30% life left and he is being chased by 10 dudes shooting at him as he dodges around the shop.... "get in the ship"

    Guy jumps on my ship. Says "I'm taking cover on you'" So I jump back home.

    I try to sort my ally "Hey, there are spare shuttles on the dock. Get what you..." "I'm still under attack!" We have jumped and I see my station - no turrets yet - and 5 hostile shopkeeps floating along my ship...

    OK. They aint hurting me in my ship, but the ship is small and this guy gets hit again. I see it, I hit the jump to his base. Three shopkeeps come with us. He says he is good and to go, so I jump back home and a second later get a notice that he just died, and see a couple shopkeeps still shooting at me. No turrets. So I jump out and shoot these dudes down quick, AI sucks, then I get a message that the other three shopkeeps have the guy pinned down in his base.....
     

    Matt_Bradock

    The Shrink
    Joined
    Aug 4, 2013
    Messages
    798
    Reaction score
    464
    • Purchased!
    • Thinking Positive
    • Legacy Citizen 5
    I have literally been in a shootout to death with a shopkeep mob. Sooo sad...

    Starting new on a server, I allied with a neighbor early. Next day we've made some trades, both have bases up. Filling BPs for proper ships... I am busy crafting... he messages me. Tells me he is going to a nearby super shop, asks if I need anything. No, thanks.

    10 minutes later, "hey, I'm under attack at the shop." "Right. On my way in a space jalopy miner with cannons... we're both dead."

    I jump to the shop. No ships around. I park and go into the shop where he is, suddenly I'm taking damage. No ships. I switch my navcomp to see everything and there are 10 shopkeeps attacking us.

    Now I look and my ally has like 30% life left and he is being chased by 10 dudes shooting at him as he dodges around the shop.... "get in the ship"

    Guy jumps on my ship. Says "I'm taking cover on you'" So I jump back home.

    I try to sort my ally "Hey, there are spare shuttles on the dock. Get what you..." "I'm still under attack!" We have jumped and I see my station - no turrets yet - and 5 hostile shopkeeps floating along my ship...

    OK. They aint hurting me in my ship, but the ship is small and this guy gets hit again. I see it, I hit the jump to his base. Three shopkeeps come with us. He says he is good and to go, so I jump back home and a second later get a notice that he just died, and see a couple shopkeeps still shooting at me. No turrets. So I jump out and shoot these dudes down quick, AI sucks, then I get a message that the other three shopkeeps have the guy pinned down in his base.....
    That is hands-down the most hilarious post I've read on Starmade Dock in at least a year.
     
    • Like
    Reactions: MacThule
    G

    GDPR 302420

    Guest
    I have literally been in a shootout to death with a shopkeep mob. Sooo sad...

    Starting new on a server, I allied with a neighbor early. Next day we've made some trades, both have bases up. Filling BPs for proper ships... I am busy crafting... he messages me. Tells me he is going to a nearby super shop, asks if I need anything. No, thanks.

    10 minutes later, "hey, I'm under attack at the shop." "Right. On my way in a space jalopy miner with cannons... we're both dead."

    I jump to the shop. No ships around. I park and go into the shop where he is, suddenly I'm taking damage. No ships. I switch my navcomp to see everything and there are 10 shopkeeps attacking us.

    Now I look and my ally has like 30% life left and he is being chased by 10 dudes shooting at him as he dodges around the shop.... "get in the ship"

    Guy jumps on my ship. Says "I'm taking cover on you'" So I jump back home.

    I try to sort my ally "Hey, there are spare shuttles on the dock. Get what you..." "I'm still under attack!" We have jumped and I see my station - no turrets yet - and 5 hostile shopkeeps floating along my ship...

    OK. They aint hurting me in my ship, but the ship is small and this guy gets hit again. I see it, I hit the jump to his base. Three shopkeeps come with us. He says he is good and to go, so I jump back home and a second later get a notice that he just died, and see a couple shopkeeps still shooting at me. No turrets. So I jump out and shoot these dudes down quick, AI sucks, then I get a message that the other three shopkeeps have the guy pinned down in his base.....
    THE ABSOLUTE STATUS OF STARMADE
     

    AtraUnam

    Maiden of crashes
    Joined
    Oct 15, 2013
    Messages
    1,120
    Reaction score
    866
    • Railman Gold
    • Competition Winner - Small Fleets
    • Wired for Logic Gold
    I'm imagining shopkeepers like the fucking terminator when it transforms its arms into huge crowbars and latches onto their car.
     
    Joined
    Jan 31, 2015
    Messages
    1,700
    Reaction score
    1,203
    • Thinking Positive
    • Likeable
    That is hands-down the most hilarious post I've read on Starmade Dock in at least a year.
    One of the most hilarious catastrophes I've experienced on SM MP as well. I could hardly breathe by the end of it I was laughing so hard, because he kept dropping into general chat and after a bit other players are asking what is happening. Explaining that over chat just sent me into tears.

    "wait, what are you guys fighting?"
    "shopkeeps"
    "wut"
    "they followed us to base and are assaulting. all good - we've killed half of them already and I'm mopping up the rest."
    "LMAO...wtf? wait, you mean NPCs?"
     
    Joined
    Apr 3, 2015
    Messages
    186
    Reaction score
    171
    • Legacy Citizen 7
    • Purchased!
    • Community Content - Silver 1
    1tl0lc.jpg
    [doublepost=1515282189,1515281391][/doublepost]Guys, I know what's wrong with StarMade!

    "If it exists, there is an Undertale AU of it!"

    We need to make our own AU! May I present to you:
    header (1).jpg