We have found ourselves a purebred specimen of Troll here, gentlemen. A fantastic example of the species. Let us examine his latest footprint. My observations are in parntheses, as well as bold print.
No one fucking cares, but apparently I do. (So, the Troll thinks of himself as \"No one\". Anonymous status or self-esteem issues? A combination of the two?)
God fucking damnit (How fiesty it is!). If you feel like I gotta leave my common sense in a ditch somewhere, editor, go leave you fucking stupid remarks elsewhere, jackass (This sentence would be less akward without the word jackass at the end). What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? (A sudden change in tone, as well as the repitition of the word \"fuck\" shows the importance of the answer.) I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals(To be perfectly honest, I don\'t know how it works, but I don\'t think Navy Seals have a system like that), and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda (One might think that you would know how to spell Al-Qaeda, then) , and I have over 300 confirmed kills (Now the Troll displays his skill at the popular game Call of Duty, in order to intimidate his target). I am trained in gorilla (Perhaps the mispelling of guerilla indicates that it is about to unleash the inner beast) warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces (The Troll again uses bluffs to intimidate his chosen prey) . You are nothing to me but just another target (So cold-blooded.) . I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words (He is going to ricochet a revolver bullet off of the goddamn dome of the sky and it will be a headshot. Mark his WORDS.) . You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA (The Troll uses \"connections\" with people of power as yet another intimidation tactic. It almost appears as if this is your average too-violent nine year old\'s fantasy...) and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot (I believe it is about to get *serious*) . The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands (The Troll certainly does know a lot of ways to kill people with its bare hands. Seven hundred. Wow, amirite?) . Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps (I estimate the value in fully-automatic rifles to be about 42,800,000 US Dollars) and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit (Kind of like Charmin does with your regular ass) . If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue (He\'s angry. Such a state is common in the species as a whole- almost ALL THE TIME) . But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it (Charmin won\'t save you now.) . You’re fucking dead, kiddo. (I believe the author left this last sentence here as an indicator that he is 100% serious. In case the point didn\'t get across.)
(Oh dear. There\'s more.)Shut the fuck up, keyboard warrior (An excellent example of the Troll\'s hypocritical attitude.). No one cares about your stupid as fuck opinions (See the beginning. It clearly states that you do, in fact, care. Also, some hyphens between stupid-as-fuck would\'ve been helpful). The dev\'s say their gonna support, they\'re gonna fucking support (Another error, this time through a misplaced apostrophe, puts in concrete terms the uncaring ignorance of the Troll). If you want fucking mod support this early in the game, go play fucking Arma 3 you fuckhead.
tl;dr shut the fuck up, weaboo. (This is the cooldown sentence. He\'s about 92 degrees Fahrenheit now.)
This has been the first in a series of annotated footprints and academic papers on the Species of the Troll.