An urgent message from Blitzwing!

[MrFURB]

Greetings, stardwellers. Once again, I ask for your attention, as we at Blitzwing have suffered a humbling defeat. On one of our remote research and developement facilities, a 'virus' outbreak has led to an almost insurmountable number of deaths.

I emphasize the word virus because that which has led to this massacre, this 'Purple Stuff', has been thought harmless by so many. But now we have concrete data that it is, by nature or by sentient mind, harmful to all Humanity.

You heard correctly. Purple Stuff is the culprit. We recieved a distress signal from the research colony, sent by a half-conscious exobiologist blabbering to his death about the purple rapidly growing through the walls.

We sent a Hunter cruiser to provide assistance, but lost contact with it. At this point we were sure that a major military force was behind the attacks. We sent the Raxyus dreadnaught on it's maiden voyage, aided by a wing of Hunters and Gnats to the research facility only to find it half buried in the vile purple creep... Alongside the remains of our first rescue attempt.

I will not stand for this. This organic Purple Stuff has already been proven as toxic, but that it would actively seek to kill us...

With the armada of Blitzwing and it's allies by myside, I am now instituting an enforced ban on the use of Purple Stuff and it's related planetary materials in spacecraft or in unsupervised recreation. This ban affects only the core areas. If you wish to make use of the vile toxins, do so far away.
This is to be enforced by asking nicely. If that fails, it will be enforced through the use of ludicrously high amounts of extremely deadly force.

This may sound harsh, but I assure you it is to protect Humanity in it's limited numbers from any more unnecesary deaths. May you live long and live well.
-Transmission out-

 

[Nameless]

lol what?

 

[Calbiri]

its called RP, and its just begining

 

[Nameless]

Role-playing? Or am I just missing something here \'cause I feel like I am lol

 

[LunaticWoda]

Man.... I knew I should of held the purple stuff of my big mac... Im screwed

 

[Timebom]

This is Dr. T from the Omicron-Percieye 9 Medical Corp and co-founder of the S.T.O.P.S (Save The Organic Purple Stuff) foundation. You Blitzwing Bas#$%^^ds have invaded a sector of space where the ultra rare OOPS race (Origionaly Organic Purple Stuff) lives. Your lies and deciet knows no bounds as you spread falsehoods and lies. For example: The Wervian Space Leech was a fine and delicate Species that only ate the occasional freighter and planets that it wandered across during it annual 2383409light year migration. That is, till the vile Blitzwing faction wiped them out for good! The OOPS is only trying to protect its space from you foriegn invaders! You blast and burn and kill this peace loving oooze while all the time saying \"its kiling people, its killing people\".. You vile space eco terrorists... Right now i have been sitting in a tub of OOPS for 8 hours with no illllllllllllll effects. well i did get intrupted by rainbow riding unicorns! but i killed them to save the OOPS! The glorious OOPS! S.T.O.P.S. will do what it takes to STOPS Blitzwing from killing this noble and majestic creature of space! narf.. All Hail Lord Blob!!!!!! Muhahahahahah we will get you my prettys and your little dog too...

 

[MrFURB]

Yeah! S.T.O.P. saving O.O.P.S.
But no really, I somehow had the intuition (Dunno where it came from) to record that! Can you believe it? I\'mma just save it in our archives for when I need a reason to laugh. Or kill you.
Uhm, by the way... Mr. Calbiri swarm mind thing, I heard you found something of ours? Can we have it back... In it\'s ORIGIONAL state please? Thaaanks!

 

[MrFURB]

Yeah, okay, you know what to make of people writing stuff up that you don\'t really get right now? There\'s a word for it.
It\'s called nothing. If you do not get what is going on, and do not know how to respond other than \'lol what?\' do nothing instead! It\'s a whole lot more fun after you do it a couple of times so give it a try, man! Trust me on this one. We\'re just trying to get things set up... That\'s right. We\'re setting something up. Excitement! Adventure! Non-sarcasm!
So if you\'ll forgive us for doing something that doesn\'t affect you right now, maybe things will look up in the future. Just maybe.

 

[Calbiri]

-you look around yourself...
---------------------------------------------
-the stuff is everywhere...
-------------------------------------------------------------------- - - -
-the stench from it is revolting...
-------------- - - - - -
-suddenly you remember another smell....
-of summer peaches...
-the taste as you swallow the first bite...
---- - - --
-reality snaps back...
-you feel something in your gut...
-squirming inside
*Agony*
------ - - - -
...
- - - --- - - -
-you awake...
-theres a vessel in veiw to your port...
-an unquenchable hunger seizes you, as you turn to persue the swarms next victim...

 

[The Last Baron]

I have personally launched a small research station above one of these \"purple\" planets. Once I have the chance to sift through the analysis of the local flora I will make my findings public.
It seems as though some less stalwart forces in our fair galaxy are utilizing this vile substance to enhance the performance of their vessels, and as far as I can tell it\'s an outright affront to civilization and the moral fibers that keep us a step above anarchy.
I\'ve not considered myself to be much more than a philanthropist, engineer and occasional rabble-rouser, but at the onset of this mystery I will henceforth declare my intentions as such:
The logical scientific study and classification of the organic material being referred to amongst the common folk as \"purple stuff\", designation of it\'s intent (assuming any sort of sentience may be identified) and the outline of a proper plan of action, although violence is always a last resort.
With your help and the financial / material backing of Interstellar Solutions Incorporated, we can overcome any challenge, no mather how insidious or ominous it may be.
Remember - Interstellar Solutions - we\'re here to serve you.

 

[The Last Baron]

Might I add, the discovery of this \"Calbirian Swarm\" and it\'s supposed relation to the dark powers resonating within the organic materials found present on many martian planets, I am hereby declaring all martian planets known to harbor any purple flora to be a biohazard to any living entities. These orbital bodies and their accompanying satellites (asteroids) are to only be approached with extreme caution, and any who decide to engage in any unsolicited and/or unsanctioned research or collaboration will be met with extreme force and cleansing fire.

 

[taseBAblewett]

The Horde welcomes all to our humble purple planets and astroids..... as long as you \"donate\" you ship and life for a lifetime of service...

 

[Nitris]

### SOURCE: ###
### RECIPIENT: ###
### TIMESTAMP: ###
### MESSAGE BEGIN ###
Hey . I \"found\" this encoded message being sent from one of those fancypants science ships investigating this \"purple stuff\". What with the info blackout all these big corps are enforcing I thought you might be interested, even if it isn\'t much. I\'ll be in touch.
### ATTACHMENT: ComsLog_S374_1763448.clgf ###
~%* know what to tell you honey. Hell you know I wish I could shake the feeling, but we have already lost four other ships to \"mechanical accidents\" they\'re calling them, and two more ships have plain and simple vanished. No communication, no mayday, nothing. Not even any escape pods.
You know I ain\'t no scientist, just a lowly mechanic, but with my own two eyes I watched both the and the go down. I saw @£4} ^!

 

[MrFURB]

Greetings, folks, I\'ve got another important message for you. I just wanted to let everyone know that if you\'re out in doomsider\'s server, you\'re probably flying through Blitzwing space! As such, you should be thankful that you have such great cosmic neighbors to hunt down pirates, clean up asteroids, and keep the pesky \'locals\' under control so you don\'t have to!
That\'s right, we\'re establishing dominion over lots of previously uncivilized space, so expect to see us dropping by to make sure that nobody is up to anything sneaky! As you should already know, Blitzwing will not stand for piracy, unauthorized combat, or racism against Humans. As such, \'pirates\' had better either give up their trade and settle in like the rest of us civilized folk or they need to move.
Have fun everybody!
P.S.: Welcome Calbiri into our ranks, we\'ve decided to put aside our differences and work together to mold this disgusting little galaxy into one better reflecting our grand interests! Hoo-rah!

 

[MichaelSeph]

So... humanity in it\'s limited numbers ?

Looks over the numbers... counting in billions...

What is a \"limited number\" for this faction ? xD