Fight. By AAlex

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    Fight.

    The sound of heavy flak cannons broke through the air. The loud bangs on the hull of the ship sounded as if a monster was trying to break through. We won’t stand much of a chance if they manage to hit our FTLD. I hear a loud BANG and my brother screaming “Look out!” Everything goes black…..We are traveling on our way to Greece in a 747 and are experiencing heavy turbulence.



    It all started one day in Vintanio Prime me and my brother were getting set up to depart on the newly constructed Aurora class battle ship. We were moving to a new colony in the outer rim, our hope is to remove our self’s from the dictatorship located here. It’s so bad that the king executed over 1 million people for trying to build a new village away from all the pollution.

    My brother asks inquisitively, “John, will we make it there safely, or will we die like mom and dad?”

    “Of course we will. Mom and dad where just unlucky,” I say assumingly. Of course reassuring my brother was not the best thing to do, new space battleships usually go through intensive testing before being used. While the Aurora was just constructed and at this very moment is still being refitted with rooms and supplies. So it may not hold up in battle.

    It has been almost a month since I reassured my brother. We are now boarding the Aurora the supposedly invincible space battleship. The steward shows us to our rooms and we get settled down.

    “John, how big is the Aurora?” my brother asks quizzically. I sigh and respond with

    “Jacob, I have told you this several times the Aurora is 10 miles long 2 wide and with the anti-capital turret attached 3 high.” I say boringly.

    Then an electronic hiss followed by “All passengers brace for FTLD or Faster Then Light Drive engine power up in Tee minus 5”

    A loud whooshing travels thru the ship and from our cabin that has a window we can see the stars passing bye. The planet we were just on where we grew up vanishes behind us like a blue marble thrown by a bully. I was about to tell my brother to come take a look when suddenly over the radio I here

    “ALL PASSENGERS, WE HAVE DETECTED SEVERAL IMPERIUM BATTLESHIPS AHEAD!” “BRACE FOR HOSTILE ENGAGMENT IN 3 2” A huge bang cuts out what the captain was about to say. This is followed by all the lights in our cabin going out. My brother starts crying and I walk over to him and say;

    “Its O.K. probably just a power outage, remember the ship was not ever tested with disengaging FTL and stopping at the same time.” I try to make myself sound confident but I can tell by the way he looks at me that he doesn’t buy it. This is not going very well it reminds of a legend about a water ship that was deemed invincible but rammed into some kind of object and sunk. I take a deep breath and try to calm down, when a huge BANG cuts out any other noise. So loud it feed as if the whole ship rattled with the impact.

    “That’s the anti-capital turret!” my brother screeches in a panicked tone.

    BANG, another huge noise followed by almost a hundred much quieter bangs. The first noise is obviously the Turret firing again and the smaller noises sounded like heavy artillery. My brother yells what everyone on the ship is thinking.

    “What in god’s name are we shooting at!” he yells. At that point a low hum resounds throughout the ship and the lights in our cabin turn back on. I peer out our window and I almost fall back in fright.

    “Its. It’s a Imperium mother ship.” I stammer. This is not good an imperium mother ship can destroy planets what hope do we have? As I look out the window I see the mother ships main turrets turning to face us. As I look I see several large flashes coming from the barrels of the turrets. I realize they are shooting at us I don’t have much time the shells should Impact in less than 20seconds. I close my eyes and start to pray…

    “Oh God almighty please let me and my brother live through this travesty Amen” I say with confidence but also with fear. I hear my brother in the background counting down the seconds

    “Eighteen seventeen sixteen fifteen fourteen…Thirt..!” He’s cut off when a huge bang comes from outside the ship I see a Sintint Capital has warp jumped in and intercept most of the cannon fire and is now breaking into pieces. A second BANG rattles the ship and a Sintint Missile frigate jumps in and begins pounding the mother ship with volley after volley. My brother shouts,

    “Go get them scary alien things!” he says with confidence. BANG the whole ship rattles and screeches. BOOM the front of the ship tears itself from the main body. BANG this time so close it feels like someone shot cannon next door. BANG a Sintint Titan has warped in and is locked in engagement with the Mother-ship. Then an ear splitting explosion that feels like it was 10 feet away and then;

    “LOOK OUT!” My brother shouts. I start to turn my head, then everything goes black……..………….







    I open my eyes and find myself in a hospital with nurses standing over me.

    “Will he be alright?” someone says quizzically.

    “Not sure, the explosion hit him pretty hard.”

    “Where’s my brother!” I shout “Is he ok?” I’m worried; my mother wanted me to protect him. And if anything happened to him….

    “He’s fine,” the nurse responds. And I sigh with relief.



    It has been over 12 years since the incident. I work on life saving systems to stop people from having the same experience as me. My brother John died from a bull that trampled him to death. I got married to a beautiful lady named Jailen (pronounced Ja-Lin). And had two kids named Jamie (the boy) and Cloe (the girl). We have since that incident with the Sintints help defeated the Imperium. They could have defeated us. With one blast of the Anti-planet cannon everyone on the ship would have died. All 1 billion people with family and friends could’ve died. But they spared us. To this day I still wonder why they attempted to fight. Within moments of the Aurora being hit by the cannon fire over a hundred UCF Titans and capital ships jumped in. With their combined force they subdued the mother ship and its support carrier. We gathered enough info from the wreckage to build a new type of tracking system. Then killed off the imperium we all lived peacefully forever….And as we stepped of the plane all shaken up I thought

    “Someday I’ll make a story out of this!”






    THE END
     

    ImperialDonut

    Overlord of the North Pole
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    Good start Alex, keep working on it!

    And don\'t forget about proper punctuation and sentencing while you\'re at it. ; )
     
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    I\'ve started a StarMade cultural phenomenon. I\'m so proud.

    Good writing though. I am willing to say that you do need to work on it. Long sentences sometimes drag on. And there are some parts that I can feel as being awesome, but the word choices are uninspiring. But just the fact that I can, like I said, feel your story says you have a solid skill base and lots of potential. Honestly, I would prescribe lots of just sitting down, writing over and over and judge all of your work until you decide you don\'t hate it anymore.

    That\'s how it worked for me.

    Honestly, what worked for me and completely solidified my writing ability was constantly and sometimes even drastically changing styles or the kinds of stories I wrote as I went from one story or draft to another, until I found one that fit. Then I stuck with it like a disease and, wham, here I am today, spinning threads like you\'ve never seen before.


    On the positive end, I can definitely see passion and care for your work. Honestly, that\'s more important than any level of skill. You can create mediocre stories with amazing words and make a pretty good tale. But the best writers are the ones who start off easy, but with a headful of awesome ideas, and a passion for the pen (or keyboard in our case). I definitely think you should keep writing! Maybe use this as your thread to post your short stories!

    I really am trying to be positive and supportive! Any criticism I give is constructive, so I hope you\'re okay with that! Keep it up, man!
     
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    It has a good story line, good ideas etc, but the actual writing needs work.

    But Nature has already said that, and I won\'t emphasize what he said.

    However, the ideas part can be the hardest to get, and the rest can be learnt. I would be perfectly happy to help you with this, give you some instruction, edit anything etc if you would like.

    So, PM me if you\'re interested, even if it is just to improve this one.

    Oh, also, the links to the pictures were interesting, and added some depth :)